From this morning's hotsheet of new, sold and price changed listings in Cocoa Beach and Cape Canaveral; a Portside Villas 2/2 unit that closed yesterday for $97,000. At $97,000, I consider these big (1211 square feet), 8 year old units to be an attractive buy. What I have never considered is that they could legitimately be described as "across the street from the ocean". The description in the MLS states "Adorable 2 bedroom, 2 bath Condo across the street from the Ocean!!! (Triple exclamation marks not mine) Technically, there is but one street between Portside Villas and the ocean. What an internet shopper might not know is that the walk from the unit to the beach is within a few feet of one mile. If a buyer was a bird, she'd be but 4402 feet front door to the beach. Unfeathered residents will have to walk to the nearest road that winds to the beach and according to Google maps that closest ground route is 4945 feet. Listing agents, please consider that you foster the bad opinion the public has of all of us when you do stuff like this. That unit would have sold just as fast if you had said "One mile to the beach". Larry out.
Written across the bottom of the inside of a bathroom stall door.
BEWARE OF LIMBO DANCERS