Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Million Dollar Listing Cocoa Beach

The luxurious life of a real estate agent; roll out of bed by 10, pick up a latte and check emails, drive a client to a couple of listings, fill out a few forms and collect a giant check for doing practically nothing while never breaking a sweat. Occasionally attend a fancy brokers' open, drink wine and eat fancy hors d'oeuvres with the other elite while gazing over the city and ocean from a seven figure condo balcony. Rinse, repeat.

I wish. The reality is somewhat less glamorous but there are moments even in Cocoa Beach that compare to some of the moments portrayed on Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. I experienced one last week at a broker's open high in the Riomar building on the ocean in south Cocoa Beach across the street from The Fat Snook.

The listing agent was somehow able to talk the folks at The Fat Snook into sending over their chefs from the Snook and it's sister restaurant, Crush Eleven, to craft appetizers for the agents and their clients attending the open. The usual fair at an Open House is a grocery store vegetable plate with some ranch dressing for dipping and bottled water. Not so for this one. The Snook folks knocked it out of the park. Their creations, not surprisingly, had the attendees jostling for seconds. Even this somewhat food-snobbish pescatarian was at a loss for descriptors. For just a few moments I felt like Josh Flagg without the fluffy hairdo. This is the list of hors d'oeuvres. Try not to drool. They tasted as good as they sound.

    chilled carrot ginger soup shooter / candied ginger
    smoked seafood sausage /key lime mustard / black garlic and serrano crostini
    salmon belly "bacon" / green tomato kimchi / house-made sesame cracker
    old bay potato chip / local ossetra caviar / creme fraiche / micro radish
    chocolate bourbon pot de creme / graham cracker crumble / toasted marshmallow

We are lucky that this caliber of food is available to all of us here, all the time and not just at fancy broker opens. The Snook is open seven nights a week on A1A in south Cocoa Beach. Miami has NAOE. LA has Providence. Chicago has Everest. Cocoa Beach has The Fat Snook.

Coming soon, a tale of my saga of the last few weeks with one of this year's contenders for difficult agent of the year. He has spun a toxic blend of dishonesty, disinterest and arrogance into one of the more challenging transactions of my career. If the seller knew how her agent was handling her sale, he'd be flung aside faster than a booger on a 5th grader's finger.

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." __Charles Shultz